She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
