you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let's get the cat blown out
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
