i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they're like a gay fantastic four
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
