I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
