Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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