dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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