Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
