I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
