You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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