I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
