This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
