just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
