Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
