I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
