If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
