Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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