just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
