Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wear drunk well.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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