Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
