Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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