So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
