I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize