So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
