whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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