after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
