Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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