i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
