come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
