You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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