in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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