Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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