Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
