i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
