but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
