New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
