ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
