Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
