sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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