Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
