it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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