I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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