I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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