Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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