I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
