i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
