Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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