You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
