I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
