the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
