yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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