11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
