3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize