We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize