I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
