So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
