help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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