The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
