Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its not stalking. its research.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize