Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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