from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize