...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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