margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
