can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
