i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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