What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
