no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
