I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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