is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
