So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she peed on how many people?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
