You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize