I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize