Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
