"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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