are you so shy because you have an std?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
